Return to Being a Human Among Humans

Dear Sisters and Brothers,

                In today’s technologically driven world, we now have “the world” at our fingertips, we can search for an answer to any question we may have, play senseless games, listen to the new hit songs, buy groceries, shop for clothes— you name it, there’s now a way to do it in the palm of your hand! Though technology is a good thing, it becomes a bad thing when we seem to lose sight of the people around us, so much so that people often become inconveniences, annoyances, less important, and even objects. Brothers and sisters, I cry out from the depths of my being, return to the real world!

                I will be the first to admit that I have overused technology in selfish and even, at times, sinful ways…but I try my hardest to recognize and be present to the people around me. What bugs me the most is when I am in mid-sentence and someone whips out their phone because it buzzed with another text message. How incredibly rude and how incredibly selfish, but sadly this kind of behavior has become common place in today’s modern technological world.

                Probably the saddest sight I have ever seen is a couple on their first date, sitting in a restaurant, and scrolling through their phones, looking at texts, tweets, Wikipedia, and Facebook pages…not saying much of anything to each other. As I saw this, I thought to myself, “Is this the point we’ve come to as a society?!” if it is…count me out.

                Don’t get me wrong, I love living in this day and age, but not necessarily because of the new iPhones, the latest RAM capacity, or the new Google Glasses…I love living in this day and age because of the people I am on this planet with, and when I see people glued to their iPhones, computers, tablets, what-have-you, it makes me sick to my stomach. Sometimes, there is a whole group of guys or girls surfing the web on their handheld devices and when someone says something they are often ignored because everyone else has been sucked in.

                One person once said to me that “Because of the primacy of texting and ‘Facebooking’ as our generation’s main form of communication, a face-to-face interaction is so much more intimate.” The thing that disturbed me is that he was saying this like it was an accomplishment of some sort. I would contest that it is the furthest thing from an accomplishment, because what this means is that we have become so comfortable with not actually talking to each other that we can no longer have many TRUE conversations with each other face-to-face. There is a disconnect in the personal aspect of conversation and the physical presence/existence of another human being, the disconnect seems so big that when we are thrust into a room with the person we were “talking” to, it almost becomes awkward. We have lost of the true sense of the personal experience as a generation…how sad.

                How do we as a society fix this problem? It’s so easy. Put your phone down, shut down your computer, go outside, be with people, read books, go for a walk…and have the REAL world at your fingertips. Touch it, smell it, see it, experience it—live it.

-The Catholic Troll

A Lover in the Real World

                When we are young, most of us have it easy. We have a roof over our heads, food in the refrigerator, and a nice group of friends…oh how I would love for life to stay that sweet and easy. During that time in life, it is easy to be filled with great joy, knowing that everything you need and more is already provided for you…but life isn’t going to stay that way.

Imagine you are a middle-aged father/mother with a teenage daughter who happens to be out with a new boyfriend…your daughter has a strict curfew of 11:00pm and if she is going to be out later, she will text you…the clock strikes 11:40pm with no text or call from your daughter. It’s not that you don’t want your daughter out having fun with her friends, it’s just that you love her so much that you can’t help but worry when she’s out passed curfew without notice…you worry so much that you can’t sleep. Your daughter is running around town with her new boyfriend doing God-knows-what…your mind is too overcome with concern for your daughter to care about anything else. This is going to happen to you as a parent.  What happened to that easy life? See the key is to find a way to remain joy-filled and also become a man/woman totally in love.

                Blessed John Paul II (JPII) is famous for being a man completely and totally in love, but people often forget about his early life. JPII lost his mother and brother at a very early age; he lived alone with his dad. According to JPII he was an amazing father, humble, holy, and everything a boy could ask for. They were closer than most of us can even imagine. But one day, when JPII returned from work, he found his father dead in bed. And at that moment, Blessed John Paul II writes in his memoirs, “I have never felt so abandoned.” He was alone. He had no one. The only thing he had at that point was his love for God. Instead of turning his back on God, he used this suffering to grow in love, and to take note of the suffering around him. It is that love and concern for his suffering brothers and sisters that gave him the courage to enter the “underground” seminary and become a priest. The world also witnessed first-hand the suffering that JPII endured later in life…but, contrary to, what most men and women would have done, he showed us that suffering could be endured with love. The world, needless to say, was astounded by the depth of JPII’s love and dedication to not only his fellow man, but to God.

                Mother Teresa is a wonderful example of a woman completely and totally in love. Mother Teresa is well known to have gone out into the streets of Calcutta, India and cared for those who were ill or dying. But when Mother Teresa picked up her first dying person and brought him back to the House, her sisters asked her “Why did you do that, if you knew there was nothing that could have been done to save that man’s life? Why didn’t you just leave him be?” Mother responded, “I wanted that man to know he was loved. I wanted him to experience love from another person once more before he died…I wanted him to die knowing he was loved.”

                Mother Teresa is charged with echoing many beautiful and challenging words. Among those words are, “I am affected by the suffering of the world.” I wish to draw your attention to the word “affected”. To be affected is to be moved by someone or something. “I am affected by the suffering of the world.” Mother Teresa was moved to love and serve those who were suffering around her. John Paul II was also known to be affected by the suffering of this world and often (in his early pontificate) would go out of his way to show those who are suffering, that they are loved, just like we see today with Pope Francis (JPII still showed love toward the suffering later in his pontificate, but we saw this through more protection, because of the assassination attempt and growing tension). Are you allowing yourself to be affected by the world around you? Are you allowing yourself to be moved to love the least among you?

                But how do I come to a better understanding of human love?

                As a man discerning a call to the Priesthood, I have to remind myself that I must fall in love with human love. I must learn to love others and allow others to love me, in a way that does not infringe on my vocation. Let me tell you brothers and sisters, trying to cope with the reality that I will never have a wife and kids of my own, is probably the hardest challenge I have ever faced. And it’s okay that it’s hard; it’s okay that I carry this cross; it’s okay that whenever I see a young couple, my heart breaks a little bit. You know why it’s okay? It’s okay because of you. It’s because of you that I am willing to give up that part of my earthly life, because I love you so much that I want to be able to give myself completely to you through my ministry.

But then how do I experience love, thus filling myself with love? I’ll give you a hint: it cannot be done in the mind. Love is not from the mind, it is from the heart. The moment you start to intellectualize love…you should realize that you are missing the point. I can read books all day about how to love and live as a chaste celibate man…but if I do not act on that love, there is no way for me to experience it. This love should flow from the heart. St. Paul says:

If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

I can do nothing in this life without love, because without love there is no substance to my actions. Therefore, I can proceed to claim that if I were to take that vow of celibacy, never infringe on that promise, but hate every second of it…it means nothing. However, if I promise to be celibate, never infringe on that promise, and make it out of my love for YOU…it means something. In the same way, if you go about your day, serving people, but hate those you serve…your good deeds mean nothing. However, if you go about your day, serving people and loving them…it means more than words can articulate.

                I find it interesting that Jesus told his disciples to do many things, but they were only known for one thing: ”Look at the love they have for one another.” The disciples didn’t care about showing off the awesome powers they received from the Holy Spirit, they cared about bringing people to the realization that they are loved. True, they told the story of Jesus…but isn’t the Jesus Story the story of the Father’s love for His children? Even as the disciples were led to their deaths…they loved and blessed their persecutors. And it is key to point out that the disciples didn’t love because they had to, they loved because they cared.

                Now, if loving is all great and good, why is it terrifying? The answer is simple, because love comes from the heart. The mind/intellect and the will, keeps us drawn into ourselves, reflecting on the nature of things around us, and acting to fulfill our own personal needs and wants. However, the heart, by its nature, draws us out of ourselves and into a relationship with another person…if that’s not scary, I don’t know what is.

                This is clearly exemplified in the love a man and woman share in the sacrament of marriage. The man seeks to fulfill his wife to the best of his ability, and the wife seeks to fulfill her husband to the best of her ability. In marriage, you cannot act for yourself, you must always have your spouse in mind. This will lead a man and woman to sacrifice of themselves out of love for the other. To love is to deny one’s self for the good of another.

                Perhaps you can now see where celibacy comes into the equation. To love as a celibate is to serve as a reminder that divine love also plays a role in earthly love. Earthly love comes to fruition with the marital act, whereas celibate love comes to fruition after death. Sounds promising, doesn’t it?! A celibate person shows people, by his/her sacrifice , that there is a love that is really beyond words  (I know this is a fact, simply because I can come up with no way to explain this love to you).

                In my mind, the next question arises, how do we deal with loneliness? Yes, the second biggest “L” word…Loneliness. It sucks, but you have to realize that you will feel alone at some point in your life, even if you are married. And you better darn well understand that you will feel lonely as a celibate. However, there is an important term I must introduce before answering the question of “loneliness”.  Solitude. Solitude is good, it is not a bad thing. In fact, it is what keeps us sane. As a celibate man or woman who has given his/her life up in order to serve others completely, you need to have some “alone time”. You need time to decompress, because (speaking from the priest’s point of view) the priesthood gets very hectic. Unless you want to blowup at your parishioners because none of them showed up to your presentation on “Christ: Sovereign King and Brother”, you need time to remember who you are and why you entered into the commitment of celibacy. In order to do that, of course, what do you do? YOU PRAY! Your vocation came from God, pray to Him for the grace and strength needed to persevere, and look to the saints for human inspiration.

                Good, solitude is covered…now, it’s time to address the big “killer”: loneliness. How do we cope with the fact that we will feel lonely? I could say “pray”, but then everyone will roll their eyes at me, because who really wants to pray when they feel alone?! But seriously, pray and go be with friends. It is important, as a celibate man or woman to have a group of friends; I would even go as far to say, be with a friend who has a family of their own. By being celibate, you are a part of their family. Play with their kids, talk to the adults about life, be present to them, and allow them to be present to you. I think that last point is one in which the laity is gravely lacking. As families have become more and more secularized, they have stopped inviting priests over for dinner, or just to spend some time together. The priest today, for most people, seems to be the man we see on Sunday, and that’s it. We forget that our parish priest is part of our family too. My family is guilty of this as well. In my lifetime, we have had a priest in our house, at most, three times. And according to my last pastor, that seems to be the trend nowadays (at least in urban parishes). How sad is that?!

                Let me break that last paragraph down for you, because of my rant on the secularization of families. In order to cope with loneliness, you must pray and allow others (particularly your spiritual family) to be present to you. But most importantly (not mentioned in the above paragraph), meditate on the fact that we ARE loved. Think about that. You are loved. Let me say that again, YOU are loved. Allow that love to flow through you and into everyone you meet throughout the course of your day.

                In closing I would like to propose three questions, do you know that you are loved? Do you allow yourself to be filled with that love? Do you serve others out of that love? Because if you answer "no" to one of these questions, stop and reevaluate what you are doing with your life.

The Essential Nature of the Non-essential

In these days of the governmental shutdown we hear of certain jobs being labeled as “non-essential” and “essential”. Though it does not necessarily mean that certain jobs are un-important…it certainly gives off that connotation. But, we must remind ourselves that that is simply not true.

Our vocation is the work by which we glorify God. Of course we think (and rightly so) that Marriage, Religious life, or the Priesthood are the main vocations…but that’s just the base, the foundation of our vocation. That establishes in us a deep understanding of who we are as children of God. What we do as a priest, father, husband, mother, wife, sister, or brother is just as much a part of your vocation, because it is the work by which your interior vocation…your deepest identity…is made physically manifest. That work…that physical manifestation, is essential.

No matter what your work is, it is essential, because you glorify God by contributing to the common good of society. Even if a government body has deemed your job “non-essential”…you are essential…your work is essential, without your work there would be a piece of our society that is missing. Anyone that tells you otherwise is foolish.

Being Word-less in a World of Words

Sometimes life can be so overwhelming that mere words can’t express what’s going on in our hearts, in our minds, or around us…but perhaps that’s a good thing. There are other ways to express ourselves and to vent our frustration.

At some point in your life, you are going to feel disappointed and hurt…no matter who you are…it’s a vulnerability we all open ourselves up to, just by being human. We place our trust in someone, and they let us down…or perhaps, we don’t believe in trusting people, and end up letting ourselves down. Either way, it hurts. And it is okay to be hurt.

Yes, you read that last sentence correctly…it’s okay to be hurt. But it is not okay to hurt someone else, just because you are hurt. So learning to express yourself in a way that does not hurt others, is vitally important.

We can talk to close friends about the issue at hand, however, there will be times when the hurt is so deep that no matter how many words we use, the hurt won’t be conveyed…and we might feel depressingly alone, buried alive under all the pain. Then what should we do? Be silent. Don’t ramble at people, because they might get the wrong idea, and we may say something that we will regret.

Notice that I said, “be silent” and not “bottle it up”…there’s a crucial difference in the two phrases. If we bottle up an emotion, it will manifest itself in the worst possible way…we will explode. It is like putting baking powder and vinegar into a soda bottle, then screwing on the cap…(spoiler alert) it explodes. You need to find a way of expressing yourself, not a distraction. Do something that brings you joy and peace. For example, if there is something bothering me, I will go for a walk or get into my car and just drive…maybe I’ll even take a close friend with me. However, it is important to realize that sometimes we do need time to think about the hurt or disappointment that we feel, we need to spend some time in solitude…and pray.

There’s that evil four-letter word! But the funny thing about prayer (as I’ve mentioned in previous posts) is that words are optional. Sit in quiet, and take that hurt to your Father. Then, feel your Father come to you and hold you. Pour the contents of your heart out in front of Him. Yes, it is okay to cry…especially while you rest in the arms of the one who gave you the ability to cry! But it is important to be silent. Sometimes we need to hear words of comfort, but how will we hear them if we are not listening?

Have the courage to express yourself in a word-less manner. Have the courage to be alone with God. Have the courage to be silent. Only then will you begin to heal.

Merry Christmas!

I am what you would call a “Christmas Freak”. Usually, I get into the Christmas Spirit around late October and don’t come off the “Christmas High” until late January…is that okay? Heck yes! In fact, I encourage it…let me tell you why.

The Incarnation of Christ is one of the central mysteries of our faith as Catholics. God took on human frailty so that we might leave our frailty behind and strive to be more like our creator. The Un-comprehensible Being became a creature, just like you and me, in an act of amazing love…how awesome is that?! That is not a mystery that should be locked into a short 12-day period of celebration for the individual believer. Sure, liturgically speaking, we have other awesome things to celebrate so we set aside that 12-day period strictly for the celebration of the Incarnation. But we, as individual Catholics, should not loose the spirit of love, fellowship, and warmth when we pack up the Christmas tree.

Christmas, of course, has fallen victim to the secular world, as most Christian holidays have. It has become more about the presents under the tree, rather than the presence of Christ, real and living, in this world of ours. How do we reverse this trend? Well, as I said earlier, packing up the spirit of Christmas with the tree, is not helping the situation. We, ourselves, need to learn what Christmas is all about. If we know what Christmas is all about, it is almost impossible not to be overjoyed. God loves us all so much that he comes to dwell with us. But if we shove Christ out the door after the Christmas movies come to an end, are we really immersed in the Christian experience that Christmas is?

Am I telling you to leave your Christmas décor up throughout the year? No. Personally, I would get sick of those flashing lights on the tree after awhile. But perhaps leave a nativity scene displayed somewhere in your house to remind you of the awesome gift that the Incarnation is, and to remind yourself daily that Christ’s presence in your life. If you feel like you are loosing that spirit which has come to be associated with the season of Christmas, take a few minutes and meditate on the mystery of the Incarnation. Perhaps you will even gain some sort of new insight into the mystery of the Incarnation and, maybe, you will even fall deeper in love with your Catholic faith.

This idea should be applied to EVERY Christian holiday. Some of you are probably scratching your head and asking “Why?” Well, the answer is simple, Catholicism is a joy-filled religion. We have many feasts and mysteries to celebrate throughout the year, but if we allow our celebration to cease, there is no reason for Catholicism to be filled with joy. Perhaps you don’t outwardly celebrate 365 days a year, but every day (yes, every day) we should set some time aside to sit and be thankful for the many mysteries of our faith. If we do this, more and more people will be drawn to us, because, in doing so, we would become joy-filled people who seek to serve God in every way possible, out of thanksgiving for all He has done for us.

Come and Journey with Me

“Come and journey with me”

That is God’s simple and humble invitation to each and every one of us…lately it’s been a phrase I have been taking to prayer…

Vocation. The English form of the word comes from the Latin word Voco, Vocare, meaning, “to call”. According to Merriam-Webster it is “a summons or strong inclination to a particular state or course of action; especially : a divine call to the religious life.” But it is important to remember that we all have a vocation, not just priests and religious…we often forget that marriage and celibate single life are also vocations.

Whatever your vocation in life may be, it is important to remember these three things:

1. Pray and discern, even if you are contemplating a vocation to Holy Matrimony. Answering the call God has given to you is counter-cultural, we need that source of strength which only prayer can give us. God is your Father, God is your Brother, God is your Strength and Inspiration…why wouldn't you spend some time with the awesome gift that God is?! We know that there will be people out there that view us differently for answering our call…but God will only love us all the more. Perhaps we can get discouraged and down because of the way some people view us, or because the road is beginning to get rocky…go to God in prayer and allow Him to hold you. You don’t need to say anything…just sit, know that He is God, and allow the hands that formed the universe to hold you.
2. Do not be afraid. Christ loved us so much that he was willing to go to the cross. Do we love Christ enough that, if our journey leads to the cross, we will push on? Do not be afraid…God is saying, “Come and journey with me” not “Go ahead and go on that journey”…God longs to be with you, let Him lead you and you will never be alone. He loves you so much that he quite literally holds out His hand to us and patiently waits for us to take hold of it, so that the journey can begin. And if your journey does lead to the cross, He is right there beside you, loving you with a love that we cannot even begin to understand.
3. I am no saint, I don’t pretend to be one, if I come off that way I am so sorry…I am a sinner and I will ask for God’s mercy and forgiveness all the days of my life. I fall, but those hands that held the leper, broke the bread, and were pierced by the nails of the cross, are held out to me…waiting to help me back to my feet. Then, joined hand-in-hand, we continue on the journey…together. God never abandons us…we abandon Him. Perhaps we can’t feel God’s presence…that does not mean He isn't there with you. Do not be discouraged…know that God loves you, and if you fall, the journey is not over, He is waiting to help you back to your feet.

Whatever your vocation is, it will lead you to holiness. It is not by pretending to be extraordinary that we become holy, but it is by becoming ordinary that we become extraordinary and holy. The lives which God is calling us to may seem ordinary, but the very fact that God has called you to that way of life, is what makes it extraordinary and by following that way of life, we can grow in our relationship with God, which, in turn, will make us holier men and women.

Christ is inviting you to journey with him…the course is set, the thongs of your sandals are tied, your walking-stick is in hand…will you take that first step?

Accepting Jesus

We, as Catholics, can sometimes catch ourselves slipping our voices into a deep Southern accent, and asking one another "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?!" as a way to poke fun at people of other denominations. There's two issues with this:

1) It is NOT acceptable behavior for Catholics to poke fun of people of other faiths or denominations. We are called to love and to bring people back home to Christ. If we are sitting around making fun of the people we are called to evangelize, do you really think those people are going to WANT to come to Christ with us? The answer is simply, no. They will be drawn to a loving and welcoming community, not one that hates and disassociates itself from its other brothers and sisters in Christ.

2) As much as we Catholics don't want to admit it...those people have a very important point.

Allow me to expand on that second idea. We can learn more and more about the faith, read the Catechism, go to daily Mass, be active in our parish communities, even go so far as to enter seminary...but if we do all this without accepting Christ into our hearts, I tell you, it has no meaning.

Unfortunately, we see this a lot within the Church today. People will attend Mass, participate in their parish activities, buy the raffle tickets, drop a twenty-dollar bill in the collection basket, and say these pre-printed prayers...but none of this means ANYTHING if it is not coming from the heart. I know, personally, that I had this problem. I would kneel at adoration, genuflect toward the tabernacle, bow toward the altar, and serve Mass for two reasons: 1) I knew that was my duty and 2) to be seen. I wanted to be seen doing these things...it wasn't about Christ. In my heart, it was about me. That "piety" which people complemented me on...really wasn't there...I looked pious so that people would notice how "holy" and "Catholic" I was...but I was far from it. I would "pray" which means I would say these words, which I was reading off of a card, into an aimless abyss...no one would hear my "prayer" because I wasn't speaking from my heart...I was reading to myself, not to God. I had no prayer life, because I didn't know how to pray. Prayer took place in my mind...not my heart.

What caused this mess? I'll tell you, it is so simple that I am shocked many more people have not noticed, the problem is that we as Catholics have a tendency to over-intellectualize the faith. Not that intellectualization is bad...but if you only concentrate on the intellectual aspect of the faith, you are focusing on your mind and forgetting about the heart! Christ is trapped in our minds as this wonderfully beautiful idea, but it is when we allow Christ into our hearts that he becomes an even more beautiful reality.

Though I didn't know how to do it, I set out to "accept" Jesus into my heart. I sat down in front of my laptop, went to Google, typed in "Accepting Jesus..."— then I realized that I had turned right back to the activity I was trying to get away from...I was trying to intellectualize the situation. So, I closed my laptop, jumped into my car, drove to a Perpetual Adoration Chapel, and sat down in one of the seats for a little while. Then...I cleared my mind (probably the hardest thing I have ever done), knelt down, and stared at Jesus, who was made present by the Holy Eucharist, and uttered two simple words "Help me." Though I was Catholic because of my baptism and Confirmation, I became a practicing, praying, and God-fearing Catholic that day.

I would now like to pose a question to you...Christ is standing at the door of your heart and knocking, when will you let Him in?